Absent Without Leave

First published in 'a Non Sequitur (Ch.2)' on May 20th, 2005.

Stumble upon "Urban Legends Reference Pages". A website which sole purpose was to debunk myths and rumours abound in the Internet World. As we know, we always tend to forward our newly received emails which we find quite amusing, while not being really sure the authenticity of the content. Such (1) the photographs claimed to be of recent tsunami, to (2) of a very uninformed third world protesters, or (3) of a cursed epitaph in Montreal, to (4) of some city with an unmentionable name in Europe.

The site also feature other hilarious entry. Quite amusing too. Here what were claim to be excuses letters received by high school attendance offices, presumably from parents:

• Dear school: Pleas exkuse John for being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33.
  
• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
  
• I kape Billie home because she had to Christmas shopping because I didn't no what size she wear.
  
• John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
  
• My son is under the doctor's care and could not take fizacal ed. Please execute him.
  
• Please excuse Joey Friday, he had loose vowels.
  
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football, he was hurt in the growing part.
  
• Please excuse Sandra from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps [cramps].
  
• Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour trout [sore throat].
  
• Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.
  
• Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
  
• The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated.
  
• Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah diahoah dyah the shits.